Scripture
Deuteronomy 30: 19
“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make.”
Matthew 12: 36
“And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.”
Galatians 6: 5
“For we are each responsible for our own conduct.”
Reflection
Today it seems as if it might be story day at the Wednesday Wondering. This past week I was driving to work and as I prepared to use a right turn ramp onto another street I came up behind a vehicle that was already stopped waiting for a space in the cross traffic. I patiently waited for them to enter traffic, but the person in the vehicle behind me was not so patient, and honked at me to get moving. I looked in my rear view but couldn’t move forward. About a minute later I looked in my rearview mirror again and the driver of the car behind me saluted me with their middle finger. I did make it into traffic, as did the vehicle behind me, but they swerved in and out of traffic, eventually passing me and giving me the evil eye as they drove by my car. As I thought about these events I wondered about the idea of personal responsibility and what does it mean in our world today. Not just responsibility for our own decisions and actions, but about how so often we like to dismiss, or explain away the actions of others by pointing fingers at a third party. This leads to my second story of this week. I was online on social media this weekend and someone posted asking for supporters of the current US administration to give their understanding of the rationale behinds some of the decisions made, without defaulting to the “yeah but” response. In other words they were asked to not point the finger at a third party in order to explain some of the current actions. Well I think that they must have been prepared for the response, which was overwhelmingly “yeah but!” I wonder why it seems so challenging for so many to admit that they might have made a decision that might not have been the best? The third story happened on Sunday afternoon, after I got home from the two services and I was watching the baseball game on the television (no the story has nothing to do with the baseball game, although some might think that the Jays do have something that they need to take responsibility for, I am just kidding because I still love them Jays.) There was loud knocking on the front door, and at the door were two young men from an evangelical church who were wondering if I knew that my sins forgiven. I assured them that as minister in a church I understood that, but it was the vehicle of that forgiveness that led to a rather lengthy conversation. For them it was the violence of the cross that led to forgiveness, for me it was the grace and love in the resurrection. As the conversation wound down they asked if I was open to changing my understanding of forgiveness. I assured them that I was not, but I also respected their beliefs. What was interesting about this, and the reason I bring it up, is that they never once considered adjusting their beliefs, because in their mind they were the correct ones and I was in need of change. I wonder if that is another facet to this idea of responsibility, as so many believe that they know that the ‘right’ answer, action, meaning, understanding is and therefore they feel that they actually have nothing to take responsibility for in their lives.
I will admit growing up I struggled to take personal responsibility for my own actions. In many ways, when I took an action that was not the best choice, and trust me it happened quite often, I internalized that as a something negative in myself. In admitting my mistakes I would see myself as being ‘less than,’ as not being worthy. These mistakes that I made became something that I would use to tell myself that I was not good enough. I wonder if we struggle to take responsibility because that would mean that we admit that we made a mistake. In order to move beyond these moments in our lives we must be willing to apologize, which requires us to say that we are sorry and then ask for forgiveness. As I thought about these stories and how so many seem to be struggling in the world the lyrics from Tracy Chapman’s song came to mind;
Sorry
Is all that you can’t say
Years gone by and still
Words don’t come easily
Like sorry, like sorry
Forgive me
Is all that you can’t say
Years gone by and still
Words don’t come easily
Like forgive me, forgive me
The thing is that it might be difficult to say sorry, it might be difficult to ask for forgiveness, but that is what God calls us to do. God calls us to take a honest accounting of our lives and our actions and to move forward from that accounting. The amazing thing is that God’s grace and mercy are gifts that we don’t earn, they are given to us, without our ability to earn them. To know that we are forgiven, if we but ask, remind us that we are better than the worst thing that we have ever done, and that we continue to be worthy, even when we make a mistake. It is a blessing to know that we are loved and forgiven, as we come to ask for forgiveness ourselves, as we offer forgiveness for those around us who might need it. I wonder if we truly understand what the blessing means, it means that we, each of us, is inherently worthy as we are, right now, no qualifications, and that is something to remember, always.
Prayer
God of Grace and Mercy, help us find the courage to take responsibility for our words and actions in the world. Give is the courage to say ‘sorry,’ to ask for forgiveness when needed. As you bless us, by offering grace, mercy, and forgiveness, let us bless others, by offering those same gifts to them when needed. We ask this in the name of the one who came bringing the gifts of your grace and mercy to a world in need, your son, Jesus. Amen.