Scripture
Proverbs 4: 20 – 23
My child, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.
Do not let them escape from your sight; keep them within your heart.
For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.
Keep you heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
1Corinthians 3: 16
Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s spirit dwells within you?
Colossians 3: 12 – 13
“As God in Christ has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. Bear with each other and forgive any grievances you may have, for the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.”
Reflection
Charlie Chaplin, the actor, was heard to have said, “We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness…” As I thought about this quote in reference to the scriptures above I wondered how many of us struggle to be kind and gentle to ourselves. I wonder if sometimes it is easy for us to find grace and compassion for others while not giving the same to ourselves. I remember giving a presentation at a church, a very conservative church, on LGBTQ issues. After the presentation an older, long-time, member of the community came up to me. She was concerned and confused and so she adamantly challenged me by saying, “You are asking us to change everything!”When I heard this I realized that she thought that I was asking more than I was, that I was asking something that she didn’t think that she could do. I responded by letting her know that I was not asking her to change anything, since it took me a long time to come to terms with who I was, why wouldn’t I offer them the same grace. She then realized that I was only asking them to consider what I had said. In this she found relief and understood that there was time to process and think about what was said. How often in our own lives do we give others the grace that we don’t offer to ourselves? How often in our lives are we harder on ourselves, seeing every flaw and mistake, while offering mercy to those around us? I have heard it said, and I have said it myself, we are our own worst critics. Often we will look at ourselves so much more critically than we look at others. We will see every flaw, every mistake, everything that we might have done differently. I wonder how many of us hold onto to all of this throughout our lives?
The scriptures remind us of God’s forgiveness and the call for us to forgive others, but what about forgiving ourselves? The scriptures from Proverbs and 1Corinthians remind us that God’s spirit dwells within us, not just when things are going well, but always, even when we are making mistakes. There are times when we find it so difficult to forgive ourselves, we can forgive others, but not ourselves. Morgan Richard Olivier, author and mental health advocate, has said, “When the hardest person to forgive is yourself, remember this. You are human. You are not perfect. You will make wrong decision, experience low points, and even be the bad guy in someone else’s story, but that doesn’t mean you have must be defined by that. It’s time to let it go. Whether is ti shame, regret, bitterness, embarrassment, memories of failed scenarios, or anger that you hold against yourself—you have to realize that forgiveness of self and acceptance of experiences is needed for you to be free. If you’ve learned, repented, changed, and grown since then, there is now need to suffer, condemn, judge, or hinder yourself and longer. Find the greater purpose of the pain in your past, so you can have peace and wisdom in your present and future. It is time to move forward in forgiveness.” As Christians we might understand God as a God of forgiveness, but I wonder if some of us struggle to apply that ourselves and our own lives. We hold onto the mistakes of the past. We continue to judge ourselves harshly, as if we too are not worthy of grace, mercy, and forgiveness. When we continue to hold onto to what we see our failings in the past we can close ourselves off from God. Not only do we close ourselves off from the forgiveness of God, but also from the grace, mercy, compassion, and love of God. How often when we can’t forgive ourselves to do we come to see ourselves as unworthy of any of the gifts of God. Yet we are reminded that we are worthy. We are reminded that God’s spirit dwells within each and every one of us. We are reminded the springs of life flow from our very hearts when we open it up to God and God’s presence. As God calls on us to forgive others, God calls on us to forgive ourselves too. To understand that we are not perfect, yet we are loved. To know that we will make mistakes, yet, we are forgive. To know that we are, in many ways, broken people, but God dwells within, is a gift. Are we perfect, nope! Are we worthy, loved, and forgiven, yes! So as we forgive those around us let us not forget to forgive ourselves.
Prayer
God of Grace and Mercy, as I work to forgive those around me help me to remember to also forgive myself. Help me to realize all of the ways I hold onto the mistakes of the past, refusing to let them go and in doing so, block your gifts in my life. Give me the wisdom to look at myself critically, seeing my mistakes, but also knowing that your spirit dwells within me. I ask that you give me the courage to forgive my past mistakes and the courage to know that I am worthy, loved, and spirit-filled. We ask all this in the name of one who came to forgive, your son, Jesus. Amen.
Peace and blessings, Rev. Patrick Woodbeck
Minister Grey Street United/ The Big Red Church (Gordon-King Memorial United)